Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Haunted

It's been 3 years and I still think of her every single day. Some days, I try to convince myself that I don't want her anymore but every time I close my eyes and my imagination hears her voice or sees her face, I get sucked back into the the amazing times we had. She's ruined one real relationship by being in my head and I can see the same thing happening again and again in the future. That is, if I ever decide another woman can come close to her.

Her memory haunts me now. I often consider writing a letter to her, the contents of which seem to change on a daily basis. There are times where I lay awake at night and I do the terrible "What If?" games about her trip to Hong Kong and about the fights we had (especially our last fight). I can honestly say that she is one of only two women that I've ever loved. Maybe sharing their stories or writing that letter can help me move on, letting them go by getting them out. Although I know my story with Lilly is most definitely over, part of me hopes that the story with Linda is not yet finished...

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

If you've done nothing wrong, you have nothing to worry about

I hate this statement. If you've read my blog in the past, you'd know that privacy is one of those things I get pretty passionate about. I have come up with the perfect counter-argument for people who use that statement:

The statement is basically a false dichotomy - the same kind of conundrum as "you're either with us or against us." It presents a false choice: you are either guilty of something and therefore have a reason to hide it, or you are not guilty of anything and therefore have no reason to hide anything. It is based on the (false) premise that privacy's sole purpose is to conceal wrongdoing, and it excludes the possibility that someone may be innocent of any wrongdoing but may still want to conceal their activities. Why? Because something is embarrassing, but not wrong. Something may be deeply personal. Someone may have concerns about their information being used for marketing purposes or stolen. The list goes on and on.

Find someone you get along with

I think the biggest myth about relationships, that people lure themselves into, is the idea that "love conquers all" or "love is enough". Honestly, I think the key to a happy relationship is simply the ability to get along with each other.

The same way that you get along with your family, coworkers, roommates, or anyone for that matter. Would I fight a hundred gang members and Satan for my girlfriend? Absolutely. But rarely is that asked of me. What is asked of me all day every day is to simply get along with her. In the successful relationships and marriages that I see, the people just seem comfortable together. They peacefully share a living space, parenting style, food preparation, bathroom habits, etc. There's nothing romantic about that, but the base act of being able to get along is the difference between a happy life and a miserable one. It's not that passion and romance don't exist in peaceful relationships, it's just that the people in those relationships have learned that the dramatic moments are not the base of the relationship, the everyday moments are.