Thursday, May 6, 2010

Single? Bring your A game.

Single life rocks. What are the good things about a committed relationship? Stability? Comfort? Cheaper taxes?

Here is the single greatest thing about early-stage dating: You are trying to impress each other. This means you get the A game from both parties involved. That is, both people look their best, they have interesting conversations, they both avoid swearing, farting, and burping in front of each other, and they bust out the crazy sex moves in bed.

If the other person isn't going out of their way to impress you... it's kind of insulting, it's like they don't even care. For me, this beginning stage is an important part of courtship. It's also really enjoyable. In fact, it is so enjoyable, that once a girl starts to get comfortable, I feel myself pushing them away. I don't want to know what your farts smell like. I don't want to hear about your friends coworkers dog. And to be harshly honest, the variety in the bedroom doesn't hurt either.

Some other bonuses of single life:
  1. Less time consuming. Steady relationships require "work". Everyone talks about how when you're in a committed relationship you have to enjoy working towards a goal together. How about no. How about the only "work" I do is plan a fantastic and enjoyable date, and the only "work" you do is show up and bring your A game.
  2. Answer to no one. I don't want a girl who is comfortable enough to ask me, "What are you doing and who are you with?" It's none of your business. Maybe I am dating another girl. Maybe I am watching sports. I am definitely doing... well... whatever the fuck I want to do.
  3. Less stress. People are less likely to get hurt when these relationships eventually end. This is because the time involved is much shorter than the long-term relationships. Sure it will sting, but the time to move on is shorter as well.
  4. Becoming a better person for yourself. With more time, less stress, and no one to answer to, you have more time to improve yourself. It's great if you meet someone who makes you want to be a better person, but shouldn't you want that for yourself anyways? Also, this way, you can be sure you aren't "improving" to the standards of someone else.
  5. Finding your passions. You can probably do this and number 4 while in a relationship, but they're both easier to do in single life. When you're single, things are clearer; your passions aren't their passions. You are becoming the person you want to be.

Will I eventually settle down? Maybe. Right now, I feel like I can be single for life. If I do settle down though, my enthusiasm for single life will have benefited me greatly. I can look back and have no regrets. I can be comfortable in knowing that I saw a good variety of people. I can be assured that this woman has to be pretty awesome to make me change my mind about single life. Just thinking about a woman like that gets me motivated to bring my A game, every single time.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Nice Guys vs nice guys

There are nice guys and then there are Nice Guys. Everyone knows a nice guy, they are genuine people. The nice guy will respect you, do nice things for you, basically treat you like they'd treat any friend, but they won't expect you to have sex with them in return. They won't get all passive-aggressive and whiny when you "friend-zone" them. They'll just move on, because they realize that not every girl they go after is going to be into them. These are guys who eventually land in relationships with awesome, non-crazy women with healthy levels of self-esteem.

Then we have Nice Guys. On the outside, they portray themselves as kind and caring souls, shoulders to cry on, guys who are always There For You. They'll go out of their way to help you out, but they do it with an ulterior motive. They think that becoming your knight in shining armor entitles them to an all-expenses-paid excursion inside your pants. They put you on a pedestal instead of interacting with you like you're a regular person. They refuse to speak up when they disagree with something you say (but they won't forget it, expect it to rear its ugly head later). They throw private or public temper tantrums if they are rejected and blame your lack of interest on the fact that you only like guys who treat you like crap. They're unable to see that their own behavior is disrespectful and dishonest. Instead of confronting their own issues, they continue to go after girls who just aren't interested in them. Thus, they can always paint themselves as selfless martyrs, hopeless romantics who've been played by evil girls who just go craaazy for collar-popping, date-raping, birthday-forgetting losers.